Blank.

I know I have feelings left somewhere. But they're all so hard to reach.

Awesome friends, awesome day

13 June 2011  Monday

Dva is finally back from Indo. I was so excited to see him back ^^
I haven't had this kind of awesome session for such a long time already. The feeling for breaking has really came back with the presence of Dva.

I don't know why, but this friend really mean a lot for me for my bboying. 

It's him who has influenced me the most for my style, it's him who always gives me lots of inspiration and hype for my creation, it's him who's always been a very good friend who's always here by my side.

He played a big part for the improvement I made previously.

This is the kind of friends I cherish : )

Not that I'm not close to anybody else, but somehow Dee can influence the people around him, to go all out and be as hype as him. That's why we always have fun session when Dee is there.

So Wei, Dee and I fooled around and had a great session together. We haven't been breaking together for so long. We missed it : )   We just make lots of nonsense when we three come together HAHA!!! ^^  

93 Till Infinity =P

Heehee I got so many new moves today :D

Anyway it makes me wonder, does it tell me that I can't get my mood to get down on the floor when people like Dva are not there? Or was it just so happens that I lost my feeling for breaking when Dva wasn't here and it just came back to me, together with Dee coincidentally? 

So what if it's really people like Dee who makes my bgirl life to be more interesting and more colourful? It's... Bad. Cos I'll be too dependent for the others to give me hype and I'll easily lose my feeling for bbying when they're not around.

I just find out how this friend means so much to me, especially for breaking.

Sometimes I wonder, why is it that the group of friends that I hang out with is always changing? Is it normal or is it just me?
Oh well, it doesn't really bother me anyway. I still feel good.



Just talked to the company's boss about what's up with the post that I posted on G-F***e group (now called Bboy).
Lolz, anyway I'm going to talk to him together with Andre again. Cos it seems like he's not changing his mind, he doesn't get it or simply still wanna work everything out under his plan.

I don't want our reputation in the scene to be ruined because of carrying the name ''G-F***e'', which seems like a wack crew to other bboys in the scene when it is not even a fucking crew.
I don't want us to be under the company's control, use us for commercial purposes, and be commercialized. 

We are NOT under your company. We're on our on.

We do not need a manager like them.
We are NOT a crew.

And you don't fucking know how the scene and how our culture are like.
So don't ever think of controling us by getting us together under your hand.
Don't ever think that calling it as a ''community'' will stop what's happening. 

Fuck I don't wanna be misunderstood or mistaken as a bgirl from G-Fource under Grid ever again. So does every bboy on my side.

I want them to know how important a crew is, how a crew should be, and how a crew means so much to a bboy.

And I don't wanna see my friends getting this kind of bullshit again.

Fuck you I'm so pissed off.

Once everything's done, I'll shut the fuck up. And you, stop bothering me, giving troubles and worse even, interrupt me when I'm training.

Peace.

  

   

Time. Lost.

Am I just fucking wasting time?
Am I doing what I wanna do?


I need an answer.


Maybe it's time to try something else.
Hmm...


I'm not gonna quit bboying.
Never.


I'm kinda lost in the way of life.
Lost in the way I am.


Am I enjoying from what I'm doing or am I just doing for the sake of doing?


I shall stop asking myself these stupid dumb questions by thinking of what Bounce told us.


Time to sleep.

Inspired by Bounce~

Today I attended Bboy Bounce's workshop.
It was crazy, inspiring, awesome,worthy and meaningful.
So, my feeling for breaking is back again. Yeah, maybe not fully, but anyway, I'm back : )




-----------------------------------------




I'm so sick and tired of working with that company. I'm doing so much but ain't getting paid or what so ever, in turn, I'm kinda getting shit.
Stop giving me stress.
I'll fuck off.

Rest VS Stress

I don't know what breaking means to me now... It was a hobby when I just started... Now it gets too much to a certain extend that it's giving me stress. I can't even give myself a proper rest by escaping away from breaking. I wonder why am I pushing so hard and what it means to me now.


I'm really gonna take a rest from breaking...


Time to do something else.

No more drive...

I don't know what has happened to me.
Starting from this week, I feel no more drive and motivation for breaking anymore...
Maybe I'm tired, maybe cos people like Dva are not around... I've not freaking idea...


I've been hardcore breaking for too long. Maybe it's time for me to take a break by not breaking...
I hope I'll be fine when I'm back after this break.




Someone stole my cash from my waller, which was inside my bag when we were having session..
The our favorite security guard insist to give me some cash, saying that he's my friend and doesn't want me to feel sad...
It is so touching, sweet and caring.


Dear uncle, I'll repay your kindness by sharing it to others. You have my utmost respect.
: )

涙そうそう-夏川りみ

涙が止まらない・・・・

SBDC Top 16

The battle was... Unprepared, unexpected, no mood...


I nearly cried after battle. Thanks for my friends.




I died, I gave up, I've never felt so bad and disappointed before... Now I'm gonna stand strong and never let it happen again.




I'll be back when I'm ready. Fully ready.


By the way, I cherish this friendship that we built through this competition : )




Lolz. For the first time after a few months, I craved for some puffs to ease the pain after the battle...

Desolation

A trapped soul incarcerated in decaying flesh.
Strange how strength can dissolve, 
Eradicating all dreams and hopes.
- Bell




I'm perished in desolation.


Nah, no one's gonna knock me down.
Fuck this loneliness!  


I feel like talking to my homie...


: (

The hardest you could be...

And you will find no fear here, in unkind words or the hardness of others.

And you will find no sadness here, in the meanness of the world, in the anger that comes from those who feel small.

And you will find no hurt here, in a million insults or a single, softly spoken lie.

Because only a hard heart shatters.

Only a hard heart, breaks.


- I wrote this for you




Beautiful words.