Nice yet emo day

Scape again! After not going to Scape on Friday nights for so freaking long!!!
There wasn't much people. And all the people there were my lovely friends ^^
I'm soooooooooooooooooooooo damn freaking lucky to see my dear Dva there!!!!!!!!!! Oh my fuck god we haven't met for months man!!!!!!!!!!!! ><  I was sooooooooooo excited to see him there and we gave each other a hug. He's been busying with his business and study. We talked, fooled around, had lots of fun like how we used to do before... And he also shared some moves with me. I miss this buddy so much : )   So great to see him again! And it's so touching when you get to know there's someone who really cares for you. I tend to go into a deep thought after talking to him. Sometimes it makes me tear too..
Our fond memory with Piwei happened just a few months ago, yet it feels so far away. I miss how we three go crazy together...
Everything changes so fast. I can't catch up with the time.


Dva aside, Andre, Xav, Sufian, Kamarul and Jiahao they all were there. I missed that atmosphere and I missed all of them so much...
I met Vivi today too!! LIKE FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Same as Dee, we haven't met for months already! So we finally got to catch up and had a heart to heart talk : )   Hopefully she'll be doing better.


I was in self-denial... Frankly speaking, I'm closer to them than him. Much closer. I may not trust them as much as I can trust him, but I have more fun, more ideas, more inspiration and I feel much much closer to them... It's weird isn't it? I don't really understand why I've chosen to leave.. Am I just escaping from some fucked up shit, am I just don't wanna see somebody, am I just want a quieter place to practise, or am I just wanna be away for fun?? 
Because of my choice, I feel so fucking alone.
I wish I know myself better. I wish I'm not in another self-denial, I wish I know what I actually want..
I wish everything could go on my way.
I really, sincerely hope to see them again... It all depends on myself though.


I realized that I always listen to hyper and crazy songs on school days. However, most of the times after breaking on weekends, or after having a heart to heart talk to somebody, I'll be breaking the rule and listen to some emo songs. 
Sometimes I just wanna let it out, and break down.


It's just life.
We are always breaking the shell that we have, the process is painful, but once you came out of it, you've grown a lil. However we're in a new shell again.
Breaking out from the shell, grow up a lil, get a new one, then breaking out from the new shell again.
It's just a cycle and we can never get out of it.
Just like how we get more matured by getting out from a dilemma, or getting used to a big change in life,  then we go through another painful and heart-breaking process when we encounter something else.






By the way, I've had enough already. 
And I've decided to play you back : )
I will have fun, not sure bout you.